Aaron Hollingsworth
Welcome to the official website of Aaron Hollingsworth, weird fiction and RPG writer.
Strange Fiction Writer
This here's an odd collection of musings and brain farts Aaron's jotted down over the years. Some thoughts could be considered deeply philosophical while most are just drivel-drabble. Read atcher own risk.
"Open a tomb, you'll get a corpse. Open a tome, you'll get a soul."
"When a guy hears his woman fart for the first time, it's like watching her bear his child. Because he most likely bought her the food that produced that fart. It's something they both created together. It even has a little birth cry and requires wiping.
Ladies, if your man doesn't appreciate your ass-toots, chances are he'll be a deadbeat dad."
"When pursuing my dreams, I've often barked up the wrong tree. Then I realized I needed to plant that tree and help it grow."
"As old age approaches and encroaches, I find it more and more imperative to act childish, for with the vigor of youth must also come the spirit."
"There are no strong characters or weak characters. Stong and weak are subjective advectives. There are instead effectual and ineffectual characters. Active and passive. They can be any gender, mindset, or amptitude."
"If I owned a fancy sword, I would name it ATTENTION, because I'd always want to draw it."
"Information should be absorbed and processed like food. Keep the nutrients, expel the waste. Learning/educating should be as wholesome and natural as eating a balanced meal, in small digestible portions. It seems to me that modern education is designed to make most students hate the act of learning by forcing them to gorge on a plate full of answers without teaching the importance of the questions behind them. The mind is treated like a warehouse instead of developed into a factory. I dare go as far to say that a mind should be part warehouse, part factory, and part shop that is all owned and operated my the same person.
If a student learns a ton of information only to pass a test, then discards most of this information, then everyone's time and dollars have been wasted. And if economic advancement is the only emotional motivation for learning, then personal advancement will never be respected."
"If you've never used toe nail clippers to remove a plastic-string price tag from a pair of pink flip-flops that you'd bought your wife sometime back, but she didn't like them, so now you're wearing them around the house the day after Christmas because you can't wear shoes because you don't have clean socks because the dryer isn't working and you can't find scissors anywhere so you improvise, but now your feet look girly and you're trying to be okay with that in a politically correct social climate, but secretly admit that the flip-flops are still more convenient than socks and shoes, but they still were not your first choice, then you don't know my struggle."
"Sensitivity Training does not sound as compelling or motivating as Respect Training. Sensitively cannot be effectively learned unless respect is firmly recognized as the primary objective. Most close-minded haters see sensitivity as mere weakness, instead of receptiveness. Therefore, the objective is respect. Once respect is attained, tolerance and sensitivity will come naturally and fall in line."
"You know the difference between your underwear and a French accent?
I can't pull off a French accent."
"The reason I named my science fantasy series Four Winds-One Storm is because I wanted a dashing title."
"Here's how I see it. A lot of people want to be writers. Fewer people actually want to write, even writers."
"I figured something out today...
The unusual teenage girl called out the name of the wild-haired trickster. He came to her from his magical and mysterious realm. He haunted her home with strange creatures, threatened the safety of her family, and tempted her with a fancy dress and his inhuman charm. But with the aid of her allies, the unusual teenage girl defeated the wild-haired trickster. Afterward, she enjoyed the magical company of her friends.
This is the plot to both Beetlejuice AND Labyrinth."
"I used to make hard level surfaces for a living, but it was counter productive."
"When I was 22, I dated a girl named Becky. When Becky was 16, she made out with Stephan Jenkins, the lead singer of Third Eye Blind back stage at one of his concerts. Jenkins dated actress Charlize Theron for a few years. Charlize Theron made out with Ben Affleck in Reindeer Games.
This, of course, means that I have kissed the lips that kissed the lips that kissed the lips that kissed Batman."
"I'm not saying I have all the answers. I'm just saying that whenever I'm using a Ouija Board, it's the spirits that ask ME questions."
"Men who measure women rarely pleasure women."
"Generally, if someone does not like me, it is because I have my head up my ass and/or they have a big stick up their own ass. The best course of action is for them to pull out said stick from their ass, clean it off, then use it to pry my own head out of my ass. This philosophy can save the world."
"I want an X-Men/X-Files crossover film. It makes perfect sense. Mulder is super suspicious of a school in Salem, New York where there are rumors of paranormal activity, and drags Sculley along. They investigate and interview several of the teachers and students there. Logan flirts with Sculley because she's an uptight redhead. Mulder pretends to not get jealous. Mulder discovers the Danger Room and is certain it's made from alien tech. He also thinks Rogue is an alien, or maybe part alien. More stuff happens. Lots of flirting and shit going wrong. Good times."
"Both Paris of Troy and King Solomon were approached by their respective gods, who offered them whatever they desired most. Paris chose Love, but was ultimately undone by Wisdom. Solomon chose Wisdom, but was ultimately undone by Love.
In further comparison, Solomon's father David was a shepherd who slew an army's champion with a ranged weapon. Paris had been raised a shepherd, and he also slew an army's champion with a ranged weapon.
Solomon's temple was torn down, as was Paris' great city of Troy. Now their kingdoms are less than ruins; legends.
Take from this what you will."
"An equation should be called an aftermath."
"A Kung Fu fight is like writing a story. You start with a bold opening to draw them in. You grip them when they least expect it. Then, you end it with a twist."
"There are those who live to only ridicule opposing minds instead of trying to change them. They may argue that "opposing minds unwilling to change are deserving of ridicule." But what need does that fill? Pride?
If so, then such activity is not for me. I would rather flirt disastrously than flirt with disaster."
"If a person spends time drawing or painting a picture, and posts it online, does that make them vain? No. It doesn't.
If a woman spends time putting makeup on her face and styling her hair, and posts pics of her work online, does that make her vain? No. It doesn't.
Art is art, whether we're painting on canvas or skin, whether we are creating beauty or enhancing it."
"Don't let your imagination get hijacked by society's bullshit. Someday, you and everyone you know will be dead. Create something that makes life worth living. Leave your mark. Live on through your works, no matter how absurd they may seem."
"Dear baby mamas,
If your baby daddy turned out to be just another smooth-talking, promise-breaking deadbeat, then just tell people you were superficially inseminated."
"Adam eats fruit from the forbidden tree, then tries to hide his shame. Get's kicked out, turned mortal, and forced to farm for food. Fathered human race.
George Washington chops down a whole fucking fruit tree, and then admits deed. Praised for his honesty and gets rich growing hemp. Fathered America."
"One thing I fear is becoming sane. When you are sane, you are certain. When you are certain, you are wrong, and the Universe will close its vaults, and no more ideas will come to you.
To stray from the herd is dangerous, predators might tear you apart. Better to risk that than be lead to an organized slaughter.
I hold nothing sacred but my own madness."
"I always had trouble learning. So instead, I just find things out."